April has been a challenging month in various ways for me and others. The first week of April I chose to have hand surgery on my right hand after having an accident at work where a glass lacerated my palm and severed the tendons connected to my pinky. I had never had surgery before except for wisdom teeth removal, and I had never had general anesthesia. When I woke up from the procedure, I was confused, in pain, and relatively immobile. I realized that I was wearing a hard cast over my right hand and arm with only my thumb exposed. The next 2 days, I took Vicodin every couple of hours and found myself sleeping a lot. After deciding I did not want to take anymore Vicodin, I began to become less sleepy and have to deal with this new way of life. The simplest tasks became impossible: washing my hair, applying makeup, chopping vegetables...other tasks became very challenging: cleaning up, making my bed, getting dressed. I feel my whole life has been flipped. And I admit that sometimes I would find myself asking and yelling: WHY? I was really screaming WHY to myself? Asking myself why I had willed this accident onto me? Why did I not love myself to be able to imagine an April full of love, laughs, fun, prosperity, and more? I thought that I had...but obviously had not.
Or maybe I had, but having this temporary injury had made me blind to see the fun that I was having in April and the happiness I was experiencing. I have learned from this experience a few things:
1) Our hands are PRECIOUS gifts! We are blessed to have hands and be able to experience life with them; writing, holding hands, touching, and more
2) EVERYTHING IS PRECIOUS! yes our hands are precious, but so are the rest of the parts (internal and external) that make up our self. Deeper than that, everything is PRECIOUS....we are all connected as one.
3) The show must go on. At the end of the day, I am partially limited in my actions, but I still think, talk, smile, laugh, and am affected by the same things: sunny days make me optimistic, coffee makes me happy, a little child's smile calms me, and flowers rebirth me
4) Good Friends make life amazing and they are just as much family as people who I share the last name with
All of this said, I look forward to May, June, and the rest of my life! These showers in April are cultivating a ripers, fresher, more compassionate, more beautiful crop of flowers and attitude for May and the rest of time.
Thank you to all who have supported me or prayed for me or thought of me or has smiled at me or has picked up my slack in the Universe - u are appreciated and LOVED!
Namaste
